O'Donnell Rehab Center

We are home!!!!!!! Woo hoo. We got to leave around 1:45. My oldest sister came to see us off and then my middle sister came to greet mom at my house! She is all set in her new room. She ate a delicious dinner cooked by my husband and my mom said it was the best thing she has eaten in a week. She is asleep now and hopefully will be for the night. Thanks for prayers and support. She will be turning on her phone and updating her blog soon....I promise. She knows how much love she has gotten from Facebook, email, phone calls, and texts! She loves you all right back. Thank you to my friends and sisters' friends who have prayed for mom on her journey!

Things are looking good!

Mom slept pretty well last night and has eaten great. She has been working with the PT and RT and is a fabulous patient. They have her in a yellow gown that indicates she might fall so "take caution with this lady." She hasn't fallen yet so not sure she is labeled like a granny but at least she looks pretty in her bright yellow gown and socks. :) She might get to come to the O'Donnell Rehab Center as early as tomorrow. :) yay! Just in: They are taking off the granny yellow and putting her back in blue. :) Go Mom!

She got a room with a view!

Mom got moved up to her new room. If you want the room number please email me at monicaodonnell@sbcglobal.net. I don't want to post it on the worldwide web. :) Mom ate well today and walked a few steps but then got a little nauseated. They say she is a very good patient and tries everything she is asked to do. Mom wanted me to give a message to Carolyn Rogers. The hardworking nurses told mom they need some new beds in ICU. Mom used a broken bed that after tonight they were taking to the basement and labeling it broken. Mom told the nurses she had a friend who could help. :) Also, they didn't have a wheelchair that still had footrests so they had to transport mom to her new room in her broken bed. did I mention that her room has a beautiful view of downtown Dallas?

The Day After Surgery

My sis spent the day with mom and then I hung out with her for the second part of the day. Here are mom's accomplishments: 1. She sat in a chair twice 2. She took two small labored steps 3. She ate jello, broth, sandwich, and baked potato and kept it all down. She did all of her breathing exercises per hour and coughed a few times like directed. She is still really uncomfortable but managing okay with her pain meds. I left her so she could go to sleep for the night. Oh, also they are keeping the Bare Hugger on her so her new breast stays warm and they are checking it with the Doppler every hour. She has had the best nurses...Sarah and Christy! The Dr. will check on her tomorrow and she if she can walk around. If she does well tonight they will try to move her to her new room tomorrow.

She looks great!

We got to go up to mom's room and see her for a bit. She was really sleepy but was curious how it all went. I gave her some of the facts but know she will want to hear more tomorrow or hear it again. I got a peek at her new breast and tummy and Dr. Teotia did a beautiful job. Her tummy is thin and flat and her new breast is perfect! It is quite amazing how doctors can do things like that! Mom was feeling pain so they gave her more meds and more anti-nausea meds too. She was falling fast asleep so my sis and I headed home until tomorrow. Side note- the valet had to jump mom's car so I could drive home. My battery had 3%left on my phone and inforgot my charger, so I called my husband to tell him my route home, just in case i got stranded. Major traffic problem-highway was shutdown so I had to go a different way but couldn't tell Brion my new route because my phone was dead. I saw a really awesome part of East Grand Praire and drove down Jefferson street all they way to 360. I made it home though. Thank you to everyone who lifted my mom in prayer today. Your prayers worked. She is doing so well! I will update more tomorrow. :)

Done

Dr. Teotia came to talk to me and Melissa. Here are my notes in bullet fashion because my brain can't handle composing complete sentences right now. -no trouble with veins and arteries -because of the radiated skin, he had to make a very big breast. (it is actually bigger than the right breast which has always been the biggest). -he took lots of the abdomen -he will liposuction that big breast later -he had to use pig skin -4-5 months he will lift the other breast -thinned the blood for her arteries -lots of tension in her stomach for 1-2 weeks -she will be in the flexed position for a couple of weeks -her big breast will settle with time -20%of patients will have some wound issue -ICU for two days -we will get to see her in about 1-2 hours

Almost finished!!

After nine hours of surgery, Dr. Teotia has finished attaching the breast. Now he is making it look good!!! The next phone call will be the one where he is finished and it is time to talk to him. Yay!

Nurse shift. We got the call about 40 minutes late to tell us that Dr. Teotia was still working on attaching the breast. She is still doing fine and they will call us in one hour and a half.

Okay...just heard from Nurse Courtney and mom is still doing well. I asked if mom was about halfway through and she said at least a "third of the way through." it's lunchtime for me and the sis now.

Update from Nurse Courtney: Dr. Teotia is still working and everything is going well.

So they kind of forgot to come get my sister and I so we didn't get to hang out with mom as long as we wanted but we got to see her get marked by her doctor which was really cool. Watching Dr. Teotia mark her was pretty awesome. He used four different colors of Sharpies and took his time to study, mark, and think about every line. He was gentle and kind enough to explain his thoughts. Mom is in amazing hands. She will be in the OR for about 6-10 hours. We will have updates ever 45 minutes to hour and a half. Stay tuned.

Patient 201910 in the Building

It all started at 4:27am with mom zooming up my street and up my driveway ready for her journey to begin. We unload all the bags, yarn, dog, and the New iPad into her post surgery suite (otherwise known as the 8 Year Old Princess Suite.) In the car, as I inform my mama that I didn't sleep so well and my body needed some McDonald's coffee, she tells me that she has been up a while; "I even dusted my bedside table this morning." Despite questioning my navigating abilities, we made it with 15 minutes to spare. Patient 201910 is what my mom will be known as today. They took her back right on time and I will join her shortly. I will stay with her until 7am and then it is TIME!! Thanks for staying with me. I will keep up the posts until my mom can do them herself. :) much love! -Monica

Videos - DIEP Flap Surgery & Subsequent Stages

These educational videos are just examples of the procedures I found online.  Different plastic surgeons use their own personal procedures, so I don't know if these are exact visualizations of what Dr. Teotia will be doing on me, but a rough idea.

Delayed DIEP Reconstruction Animation- the only difference is that this woman had the mastectomy at the same time as her DIEP Flap reconstruction.

Great animation of the procedure. - from Johns Hopkins

Nipple Reconstruction

Nipple Tattooing

Breast Lift Surgery

Breast Lift/Mastopexy Surgery

DIEP Flap Log - Entry #3

Got my post-op instructions from my plastic surgeon today.  This should be interesting!

POSTOPERATIVE INSTRUCTIONS:

• Avoid strenous activity, exercising, & lifting heavy objects greater than 10 pounds (keep heart rate less than 100 beats per minute) for up to 8 weeks after surgery.
• A light diet of liquids, soups, & jello the first 24 hours. 
•  Take pain medication with crackers or jello.
•  You will walk bent over (flexed) & rise slowly over the first 2 weeks. (This may cause abdominal & back cramping.)
• Follow a balanced diet which needs to include 40 to 50 grams of protein a day.  (How am I going to do that as a vegetarian????)
• Start walking as soon as possible, this helps to reduce swelling & lowers the chance of blood clots.  Walk in a flexed position for the first 2 weeks. 
• No driving for 3-4 weeks.  You may resume driving when abdominal area will allow for sudden braking.  But I can ride in the car with someone else driving - *hint*! I'll have to get out of this house!
• Wear surgical or sports bra for 6 weeks until all incisions heal.  Do not wear a regular bra until this time. 

DIEP Flap Log - Entry #2

Pre-op Procedures:

September 5, 2012:
CT scan of abdomen administered to map blood vessels for the microsurgery.

September 10, 2012:
EKG & blood work done, along with necessary paperwork for admission to Zale Lipshy Hospital.  I got my orange "Admit One Ticket for Surgery"!  All I have to do is bring it with me the morning of surgery & I'm good to go!

DIEP Flap Log - Entry #1

June 9, 2012

Consult with Dr. Sumeet Teotia, Plastic Surgeon, UTSWMC

I had my consult with Dr. Teotia today to discuss my DIEP Flap reconstruction surgery. He was highly recommended by my breast surgeon, Dr. David Euhus, and my chemo oncologist, Dr. Barbara Haley.

He said he does about 2 DIEP Flap reconstruction surgeries per week & that he has done about 200.  He said there was a 2-5% chance of failure.  If mine falls in the failure category, he said he would then do reconstruction using back muscle transfer (Latissius dorsi flap) which involves moving a flap of muscle, skin & fat from the back to the chest to for a new chest 'mound'. I'll hope & pray that doesn't have to happen.  But as I told a friend, "There's more than one way to skin a cat!"  YIKES!!!  What did I just say?!

Once the reconstructed breast heals, then Dr. Teotia will do what is necessary to make it match my natural breast in size - possibilities include lipo fat grafting to increase the size of the reconstructed breast or reduction of the natural breast - plus a lift to match the perky new one!  The stage after that is surgery to construct the nipple, then tattooing the areola when that heals.  Exhibitions of his finished art work will be on display for a price!  HA!

After seeing Dr. Teotia, the medical photographer took a set of before pics. Not unlike posing for Playboy - not that I would know!!

Surgery is scheduled for September 18th at Zale Lipshy Hospital in Dallas, Texas.  I am so ready to get this behind me & to feel whole again.  No pain, no gain.....

UT Southwestern Plastic Surgery

Dr. Sumeet Teotia is an Assistant Professor of plastic surgery with a fellowship in aesthetic surgery specializing in cosmetic and reconstructive surgery of the nose, face and breasts. He is also a classically trained artist with a passion for cleft lip/palate surgical humanitarian missions around the world. Areas of Specialty: Primary and Secondary Rhinoplasty Facial Cosmetic Surgery Breast Cosmetic Surgery Breast Reconstruction Cleft Lip and Palate

DIEP Flap Breast Reconstruction

Dr. Sumeet Teotia at UTSW will be my plastic surgeon performing the DIEP Flap reconstruction surgery.  I was very impressed with him.  He came highly recommended by my breast surgeon Dr. David Euhus and my chemotherapy oncologist, Dr. Barbara Haley.  I also spoke with Dee Simmons from Dallas yesterday and she also highly recommended him.  Dee is a friend of my high school friend, Carolyn R. Thanks, Carolyn and Dee!

Here is an article about Dee's work with cancer patients:
Women that Soar

The green area above is tissue that is usually discarded.  Dr. Teotia said he would need to use ALL of my tummy to build a new boobie big enough to match my remaining boob - LOL!  I know - TMI!

 Here is what I have researched online about the procedure:

Excerpts from Breastcancer.org:

DIEP stands for deep inferior epigastric perforator. This is the name of the main blood vessel that runs through the tissue that will be used to reconstruct the breast. In DIEP flap reconstruction, only skin, fat, and blood vessels are removed from the lower belly (the abdomen between the waist and hips). No muscle is removed. 

The DIEP is a called a "free" flap because the tissue is completely detached from the belly and then reattached to the chest area. Hooking up the blood vessels from the belly tissue to chest blood vessels is delicate work. Your doctor has to use a microscope during surgery, which is why DIEP is known as microsurgery. Because of the time required for the blood vessel microsurgery, DIEP flap surgery takes about 5-8 hours to reconstruct one breast.

You end up with a tummy tuck as a fringe benefit of DIEP surgery because fat from your abdomen is removed to reconstruct your breast and loose skin is tightened up.

Breast reconstruction using your own tissue is popular because it’s a long-lasting solution (implants usually have to be replaced after about 10 to 15 years) and the consistency of the belly tissue is very similar to natural breast tissue. But the new breast will have little, if any, sensation.

DIEP has been used since the early 1990s. Because the surgery is more complicated, it's not offered everywhere. It's usually done by plastic surgeons who specialize in free flap breast microsurgery. 

A small incision along the bikini line is made and the necessary skin, fat, and tiny blood vessels are removed. The fat and skin are shaped into a natural looking breast and sewn into place. The tiny blood vessels that feed the tissue of your new breast are matched to supplying vessels in your chest and reattached under a microscope. DIEP is major surgery and you should expect to spend about 4 weeks recovering.

STAGES OF DIEP FLAP RECONSTRUCTION

There are several stages to DIEP reconstruction: 
First surgery  - The tummy flap will be transferred to the chest and stitched in to create the mound. This is why there is an eliptical shaped scar, in those instances. You will end up with 2-3 drains, a couple of which will generally be removed within a week. 

Second surgery (after first surgery has healed) - This is the "tweaking" stage. During stage 1, the surgeons are mainly focused on transferring the flap and creating the mound. During stage 2, the surgeon will create the nipple, lift and even out your breasts, and do any necessary nips and tucks.  The opposite breast is made to match by augmentation, reduction, or lifting.  Stage 2 is a much easier surgery than stage 1.

Final Stage (after second surgery has healed) - This is the stage where the finishing touches are done; the tattooing the ares around the nipple, to create the look of an areola.

I will probably have this surgery at the end of September.  This surgery will put me out of commission for a good while.  Five days in the hospital, come home with drains & one month until I can drive!  I will be going to my daughter Monica's home to recuperate as I did after my mastectomy last August.

Shingles Schmingles

SHINGLES CYCLE (FROM CHICKEN POX AS A CHILD TO SHINGLES AS ADULT):

It has been 3 miserable months since I broke out with the shingles.  My advice if you had the chicken pox as a child is TO GET THE SHINGLES VACCINE!  I got it a couple of years ago & believe it made me have a lighter case.  Even though I had it on my face it didn't spread to my eyeball which could have caused blindness.  Praise God  that didn't happen!

After a coupe of weeks the gross scabs were gone & I was left with red splotches on my forehead, eyelid, temple, & side of nose - which luckily I could cover with makeup.   I still have light red splotches in the affected area &  hope they go away within the next 3 months.

This graphic shows the areas where shingles break out:  (My area was the face - yuk!)

Medications my doctors prescribed for the shingles:

1.  Valacyclovir (Valtrex)(val ay sye' kloe veer) - 1000 mg once daily:

Valacycovir is an antiviral drug used to treat herpes zoster (shingles). It does not cure shinges infections but decreases pain and itching, helps sores to heal, and prevents new ones from forming.  Because of my suppressed immune system due to chemotherapy & radiation, my cancer oncologist has me taking this for 6 months.  So, I figure I can get off this med right before Halloween - wonder if I can get a scary shingles mask to wear?  NOT!  Prescribed by my cancer oncologist.

2.  Gabapentin (Neurontin)(ga' ba pen tin) - 900 mg, 3 times daily:

Gabapentin is used to relieve the pain of postherpetic neuralgia (PHN; the burning, itching, stabbing pain, or aches that may last for months or years after an attack of shingles).  It does work well to tame the PHN or else one could probably go nuts - especially when the affected area is the face!  However, the side effects really slow you down:  tiredness, drowsiness, & dizziness!  I have been feeling those side effects so severely the past month that I am have discontinued this medication. I think I'd rather itch than be useless! Prescribed by my internist.

3.  Lidocaine  (LIE-doh-cane) - spread on skin as needed:

This medication is used to relieve nerve pain after shingles. This type of pain is called post-herpetic neuralgia. Lidocaine helps to reduce sharp/burning/aching/itching pain as well as discomfort caused by skin areas that are overly sensitive to touch. Lidocaine belongs to a class of drugs known as local anesthetics. It works by causing a temporary loss of feeling in the area where you apply the cream.  This cream has worked very well! Prescribed by my dermatologist.

This pic of me was taken after the scabs fell off.  Now, red splotches are much lighter & swelling is about gone.  I feel blessed that my case was not any more involved than this.  Get your shingles vaccine!


This too, shall pass!  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Shingles

I am severely broken out with shingles on the right side of my face.  Luckily, my eyeball is clear of shingles, which could cause blindness, but the eyelid is shingled & swollen, as is my forehead, temple, nose & that entire side of my upper face.  I went to the opthamologist today.  His advice is "Don't worry, be happy!"  In other words, stress & a suppressed immune system caused my shingles - so I have to try not to worry about the fact that my face is disfigured for several weeks and the pain is excrutiating & I cannot get out in public.  Pain pills don't help because this pain is a "nerve" reaction.

Talking & thinking about this causes me stress, so I decided to copy the notes my daughter made from the doctor today to put on this blog so I don't have to repeat the story over & over via texts, emails, & facebook.

Here are Monica's notes from Dr. Hu:

• Next month – anti-viral medication (finish ten day supply then start a lower dosage for a month)
• no narcotics, Tylenol & Advil only
• Contagious to people that haven't had chicken pox & visible signs of the shingles for several weeks
• See Dr. Hu in one month
• Enter phase two – did not mention this phase except for the nerve stabilizer
• Nerve stabilizer – don’t know what this is yet
• Even after visible shingles is gone, phantom pain will last forever, could be constant or sporadic
• Stress will bring it back in the same place & can bring back pain
• Minimize stress as much as possible
• Rest, Rest, Rest
• No exercise if that is tiring or causes stress
• Vacations, moving, and weddings/pregnancies – the most stressful activities in life
•  No zantax to help with anxiety or stress – Dr. Hu doesn’t like those, just REST

Daughter reminded mom she was just given a “Get out of an activity –no guilt or sadness – Card.” Just say “no” to all of the activities that cause her stress. Lighten the activities on her daily, weekly, and monthly calendars. Friends and family will understand. If they don’t, have them call Monica.

I will pretty much be "resting" at home the next couple of months.  This disfiguring condition cannot be hidden by clothing if it was on another part of my body - that sucks!  No luncheons, no recitals, no birthday parties, no end of year school programs, no movies, no shopping, no church, no parties, etc., while I heal - physically & mentally.

I am not in much of a mood today to make this a "learning experience" - so google shingles & shingles around the eye to learn more about this terrible condition & this dormant virus left over from the chicken pox that attacks your body.

To make a long story short, I am stressed as to how to reduce stress!  If you find the secret, let me know.  As Dr. Hu said, I could not help the fact that I have had breast cancer & all the treatments that brings or the fact that my sister suddenly died.  But, I'm going to try to figure this all out.....

Prayers needed.

Here Starts 5 Years of Arimidex (Anastrozole)!



Starting around the first of April I started taking Arimidex (a-RIM-ih-dex) - chemical name: Anastrozole (an-AS-troe-zole), which I'll be taking for the next 5 years.  Arimidex is a pill taken once a day. Most doctors recommend taking Arimidex at the same time each day. 

Arimidex (chemical name: anastrozole) is an aromatase inhibitor approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat post-menopausal women diagnosed with hormone-receptor-positive, early-stage breast cancer after surgery (or possibly chemotherapy and radiation) to reduce the risk of the cancer coming back. 

Aromatase is an enzyme found in various places in the body. These enzymes help produce estrogens (in particular, a certain estrogen called estradiol). In postmenopausal women, most of the estrogen in the body is made by aromatase. By blocking these enzymes, Arimidex helps to decrease the amount of estrogen in the body.
 
Biomarker tests of my tumor revealed my cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive (ER+/PR+) - which means  those two hormones fuel my type of breast cancer (BC).  Estrogen Receptor positive (ER+) means that estrogen is causing your tumor to grow, and that the cancer should respond well to hormone suppression treatments. In other words, Arimidex is a hormonal treatment that helps fight breast cancer by lowering the amount of the hormone estrogen in the body.

Arimidex is the best drug of choice available for:

* increasing the time before the cancer comes back in those who
   experience recurrence

* reducing the risk of the cancer spreading to other parts of the body

* reducing the risk of a new cancer developing in the other breast

My medical oncologist, Dr. Haley, advised me that the two main side effects I might can expect are hot flashes & joint pain - so I won't worry about the other ones listed.  Any side effects are worth the benefit of keeping the cancer from recurring!  Let the fight continue!

Gone, But In My Heart Always. :'(

It is with a heavy heart & eyes that continually fight back a flood of tears that I tell you about the death of my younger sister, Judy Anne Fowler, age 64, on March 24, 2012.  Losing Judy was a shock & heartbreak.  She passed away after a brief hospitalization from complications of cirrhosis of the liver.  She is now rejoicing in heaven with our heavenly Father and our parents - in peace - with no more earthly pain & cares.

Here is her obituary:
Judy Anne Fowler Obituary
http://www.davidclaytonfuneralhome.com/obituaries/tribute.html?url=http%3A%2F%2Fstei-23958.tributes.com%2Fshow%2FJudy-Fowler-93516672

I was 5 years old when my sister was born.  My mother let me name her "Judy".  Her middle name, Anne, was after our maternal grandmother.  We were raised in the Church of Christ, where our father was an elder.  Of course, we went to church every Sunday (plus Sunday & Wednesday nights) & after church when we were children, we went to Rockett, TX to have Sunday dinner with our Uncle Sidney & his family & our grandparents.  I'm sure the bluebonnet pic below was after church & on our way to Rockett. 

My brother, George, was born when Judy was 18 months old.  Judy & I shared a bedroom growing up - which led to many sibling disagreements since we were 5 years apart in age & had very different interests.  We became friends as young adults.  I married first & she was the main baby-sitter for my firstborn daughter, along with my parents.  She would become a fun aunt for her & my other two daughters to come. 

My brother George, my sister Judy, & I were all expecting babies at the same time - what a triple joy for our parents.  We all gave birth to girls within about 6 months of each other. 

Judy bought a home in the neighborhood where I lived after our daughters were born & about a year old.  We spent many fun days taking our baby girls out in strollers shopping!  I had blonde (bleached - ha) hair & Judy was a brunette.  My daughter had brunette hair & hers was a blondie.  A stranger asked us one day when we were out why we were pushing each other's babies.  Our children enjoyed playing with each other as cousins growing up, always sharing birthday celebrations.

We shared many Christmas & Thanksgiving dinners at my parents home while they were still alive.  Our mother was an awesome cook - & my sister inherited that special talent - but not me. 

Judy gave up her career with the Food and Drug Administration in Dallas when she had her two precious children.  She devoted her life to them & also took care of other children in her capacity as a Mother's Day Out Director.  She was a great organizer in that capacity & planned many fun, educational activities for all the children in her program.  We even shared a few preschool students.  I taught them in speech therapy at the elementary school in her neighborhood & she taught them in mother's day out.  That was fun.

Judy & I loved eating at our favorite Mexican food restaurant by my parent's home.  For a while we enjoyed their $1.00 margaritas, even though Judy was basically a non-drinker of alcohol.  I have given up my margaritas & wine as I am trying to eliminate a recurrence of breast cancer - & the research proves there is a much less greater chance of recurrence if you do NOT consume alcohol.  I plan to do a post later devoted to just that!

Judy was the main caretaker of our elderly parents during their final years.  She was always there for their needs every day  - as my brother & I were working.  Judy never complained about this.  After our father passed & the time came to put my mother in a nursing home, Judy lovingly fixed up our mother's room with all the touches of home.  She made sure she had a dorm type refrigerator loaded with Dr. Pepper, our mother's favorite soda.  She brought afghans from home, hung pictures, & brought her own chest of drawers from home.  Judy & her son even planted a crape myrtle tree outside Mother's nursing home window.  All the staff  at the nursing home knew & loved Judy - even one of the male patients had a big crush on her & would chase after her in his wheelchair!  He was broken hearted when we moved my mother to a nursing home closer to my sister & he would not be seeing her anymore!

For several years Judy & I enjoyed shopping together.  Sometimes at a half-off store (the guy there had a crush on Judy, too) & a re-sale shop - all near our parents home, Tuesday Morning, & ebay.  We even had similar ebay monikers.

Photos from the past:

Brother George, me, & my sister Judy in the Texas bluebonnets.

Judy was such a natural beauty!

Sister Judy, brother George, & me in my parent's backyard years ago.

I am very grateful to the support of my friends during this time of deep sorrow who have called & sent comforting sympathy cards.  Here are some of the thoughts from their cards that have soothed my pain:

"May your memories of the wonderful times you shared with your loved one comfort you and your family, today and always."

"A person is never truly gone if you keep their memory alive in your heart."

"Come to me and I will give you rest ~ Jesus.  May you sense his tender words being spoken to your heart...I am your God and I will bring you comfort."

"When sadness fills our hearts, sometimes we must believe what we can't  see.  May God show you the way to new hope, peace, and happiness."

"As time passes, little reminders of your loved one will touch your heart...they will always be with you, whatever you do and wherever you go.  For now, may caring thoughts from others help you through."

"When our hearts are hurting from the loss of one we love, the courage that we truly need comes only from above.  But you find some comfort in this time you're going through just knowing many thoughts and prayers are always with you."

"When someone we love so dearly goes home to be with the Lord, we know they're in a better place - but our sorry and pain is still great.  Praying the Lord will hold you especially close and comfort you through the coming days, and that you'll be strengthened by the love of family and friends."

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will  be comforted."  Matthew 5:4  NIV

"I hope God will bring you peace quickly and comfort you with the beautiful memories you two have shared..."

"Hoping prayers might ease your sorrow.  Brighter days will be coming your way, and that time and the prayers of so many who care will lessen your sorrow each day."

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you...Let not your heart be troubled."  John 4:27

"May God's loving hand help heal your sorrow and touch your heart with the peace only He can give."

"Our loved ones leave behind spaces in the world that can never be filled.  But they also leave behind love and light in each of us, sparks of joy and hope that live in our hearts and give strength to your souls"

"When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."  Psalm 94:19

"He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord."  Psalm 31:24 KIV

"May the God of hope give you rest for your heart...peace for your soul...and a deep sense of comfort from every prayer lifted for you during this time."

"Hope is grief's best music.  It's normal to feel like things will never be good again.  But have hope that tomorrow will be brighter and happier - and you will be strong again."

"May each tear that falls be a gentle reminder that you and your loved one meant so much to each other, and that no loss or sorrow, time or distance can ever take that away."

"The Lord is looking down on you and will give you the strength you need to face the days ahead, the peace you need to quiet your soul, and the comfort you need to carry you through your time of sorrow."


Added 4-6-2012:


"In the midst of things we don't understand - things that leave our hearts broken and questioning...there's a beauty about springtime in the endless ways it reveals God's faithfulness and His promise to make all things new. "


"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him."  Romans 15:13 NLT


The Plan of the Master Weaver: 
"Our lives are but fine weavings
That God and we prepare,
Each life comes a fabric planned
And fashioned in His care.
We may not always see just how
The weavings intertwine,
But we must trust the Master's hand
And follow His design,
For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side,
While we must look from underneat
And trust in Him to guide...
Sometimes a strand of sorrow
Is added to His plan,
And though it's difficult for us,
We still must understand
That it's He who fills the shuttle,
It's He who knows what's best,
So we must weave in patience
And leave to Him  the rest...
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why~~
The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned."


Thank you dear friends, for these words of comfort from your cards and for your phone calls and emails during this time of grief over the loss of my little sister, Judy.

Happy Days Are Here Again!

As I have just ended my breast cancer treatments - chemotherapy & radiation - I am filled with joy & thankfulness to my Heavenly Father!  Thanks again to all my family & friends who held my hand down the path of this journey. 

I was given an "End of Radiation Celebration" lunch yesterday at the fun Mellow Mushroom in Arlington yesterday by my high school girlfriends.  It was so much fun & such a happy time!  Here is a pic of the adorable invitation for the event:

Beautiful Lifelong Friends:

Delicious Fudge Cake (My Fav!):

Thanks again to everyone for all the support & prayers during my breast cancer treatment.  A friend sent me a copy of this devotional yesterday, which is so true about the power of prayer:

It is not true that "all we can do is pray." It is true that "all we need do is pray."

Are you in a situation where there is nothing you can do but pray? That's a good place to be. Our Lord promises those who cry to him that "before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear" (Isaiah 65:24).





Tears of Joy as Rads Are Over!!!

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Life is Good!

I have only one more rad treatment left on Monday & I have felt no ill effects of fatigue lately - praise the Lord!  Life is Good!  My best friend's daughter was married last night & it was a beautiful wedding.  They are family to us & it was a very heartwarming event.  My oldest 2 granddaughters attended the guest book & my next youngest granddaughter was a flower girl.  It sure makes you realize how quickly life passes - the bride, her sister (the Maid of Honor) & my 3 girls grew up together taking family trips to the beach, to the lake, & many times celebrating New Year's Eve together!  It was a blessed event & made me realize how lucky I am to be at the end of chemotherapy & radiation treatments & be able to feel so great & to have had such a wonderful time last night at this sweet wedding!!!  No matter what we go through, life is good, & God remains faithful & true.

BFF, the bride (BFF's daugher), & me in my newest wig!

It was a glorious evening!



"Only One Week of Rads to Go!"

Well, folks, I had my last "regular" radiation treatment today & now have 5 remaining treatments they call "boosts".  I think when I walk out of the Moncrief Radiation Oncology Center next Monday after the last treatment, I am going to fall on my knees & praise God!  These last 5 radiation "boosts" are aimed only at the scar area where they removed my cancer to nuke any cells that aren't welcome!  I think the main difference is that I will only be on the rad table for a couple of minutes - not the usual 10 minutes.  I don't know what the extra radiation will do the skin of the scar area - but whatever it takes to kill off any remaining bad boy cells!  I really wanted to use Hoda Kotb's "Bad A**" word here - ha!

I am a little tired & have semi-stopped all my extraneous running around so as to conserve energy for things I have to do.  I honestly think it has either made me a little fatigued or I am just plain milking it to have an excuse to be lazy around the house - ha!  I let the Maid Brigade go because I feel like I can handle the big chores now that I am ending treatments.  BUT, do not bring your white gloves next time you come to my house!!!

So, what does my radiated chest look like you say?  Well, can you say 10 times worse than any red, deep purple sunburn I ever experienced with my fair skin!  And, how does it feel you ask?  Like someone ironed my left chest & underarm area with a steam iron.  It burns, stings, feels tight, itches, is peeling & I cannot stand clothing to touch it.  Yes, I have temporarily given up wearing a bra!   But, this is par for the course of what you go through to kill off the big C!  So I'm explaining - not complaining!!! 

I couldn't do without these products:

This, too shall pass, & it is almost over!!!

INTERESTING NOTES:

Radiation therapy does not kill cancer cells right away. It takes days or weeks of treatment before cancer cells start to die. Then, cancer cells keep dying for weeks or months after radiation therapy ends.

As a general rule, the area that is being treated with radiation should NOT be exposed to much direct sunlight for up to a year after treatment. Sunscreen is highly advisable for these regions. Sunscreen should not be applied on treated area while undergoing treatment.

And Even More Fun!

I'm enjoying a radiation free weekend!  Had a fun, fun lunch today with high school friends at Grand Lux Cafe at the Galleria.   The Greek salad was delicious, as was the shared dessert - New Orleans beignets, served warm with three sauces.

One of us didn't get the memo to wear black & white!  LOL!

2/3 Done & Then Some Fun!

The Lunch Bunch

We used to eat in 30 minutes in a cramped teacher's lounge.  Nowadays, we pick a fun place for lunch & stay as long as we darn well please - as often as we can!  And our group grows each year!

As of today, I am 2/3 of the way through with my radiation treatments! Just a little red & itchy - but still have enough energy to go, go, go!  After my treatment today, I met my retired or "outta' there" teacher & staff friends from the elementary school that was my home campus as a speech pathologist the last few years before I retired. We met at the fun Bishop Arts District (BAD) in Dallas. We had a delicious lunch at Eno's Pizza then enjoyed eclectic shopping at places such as Fete-ish & Bishop Street Market. A couple of us bought tie-dyed hippie hoodies at Fete-ish!



We loved shopping at Fete-ish!!!

It was a fun day & our group has plans to go back to the BAD & try out several other fun eating establishments - like Veracruz, Oddfellows, & Tillmans.  Any other suggestions?  We've about worn out Hattie's - ha!  We've also eaten at Hunky's & Gloria's  - all good places!

"Radiation Information" (Being a poet again!)

You got that right, Maxine - especially as I am going through rads! 

I am far enough along in my radiation treatments (had 19 of 33 today), that I am beginning to experience tender, rashy, itchy skin in the radiation area.  I have searched ad nauseum on the breastcancer.org community forums & have googled for answers on what is the best products to "prevent" and/or "heal" skin problems.  Then, today, I found that someone posted an answer to those questions written by a Radiation Oncologist.  It was eye-opening as to what is actually happening to the skin during radiation & what control you do or do not have over what happens to the skin.  To make a long story short, this RO said there is nothing you can put on the skin to prevent irritation & nothing you can put on the skin to heal the irritation.  The RO said just to use whatever makes your skin feel better during this period.  Well, I have indeed found a couple of suggested creams & ointments that do soothe the tenderness & itching.  So, it is what it is, & just make the best of the situation.  Don't try to manage something out of your control!   Also, I have considered burning my bras because they rub & bind - ha! I agree with Maxine again here:

So that you won't have to go look up this message written by a RO to radiation patients going off the deep end & getting & giving bad advice  about radiation, I copied & pasted it here for your own knowledge - for either yourself or someone you love that is going through radiation.  It certainly has helped me to realize it is what it is & the importance of dealing with it as it is - not as some of the ill advice given out there in cyberspace.

Hello- I am very sorry for your pain and suffering. I am going to offer some information, but it is important to me that you understand I am not arguing about what you have been through or trying to minimize it- just helping you with the terminology.

Radiation wounds are not really burns, and they are not rated by degree. Medical professional who are trained in radiation usage will generally not use degrees to rate the wounds. Instead, they will use "grades" from the internationally accepted CTC (Common Toxicity Criteria) that is used by all major cancer research organizations (that is why it is call "common"). The reason you can't use degrees is that burns start at the top, and spread downward, and the "degree" of the burn has to do with how far through the skin thickness it caused damage. That isn't at all what happens with radiation- therefore the degree system isn't very useful. .

Radiation wounds are not "damaged" skin, per se, as much as they are "missing" skin- let me explain- radiation causes skin to fail to reproduce properly, and thus as you "use up" your normal skin, like we all do all day, there are no new layers of skin coming up from the bottom. So eventually the area can ulcerate. This might look like a thermal burn, but it has very little in common with a thermal burn, and the treatments for thermal burns will not help much.

Let me be clear- many skin reactions don't need, nor will they find benefit from a 100 dollars worth of potions and lotions from the herbal medicine shop. You expect me to say that because I'm a doctor. Perhaps some will stop listening to me now because I don't think that a plant from the middle of the jungle ground up and slathered on your skin will fix the problem (why would it?). But, allow me to also say- most skin reactions don't need, nor will they benefit from 100 dollars worth of laboratory chemicals stuffed into a brand name prescription from the pharmacy.

Neither approach will help heal the skin very much, and neither will prevent the damage in the first place. Do I believe in natural cures? You bet. Your body, in its natural amazing way, can regenerate skin without lotions or potions or pills most of the time. Very few radiation reactions need serious supportive care, most (not all) will just get better. Of course, there are some severe wounds that will require medical attention, but without an understanding of what is wrong, no one, be they MD, DO, ND or Shaman, can be expected to properly assist you.

Now, keep in mind, I said herbal potions and laboratory chemicals won't heal the wound much faster- I didn't say they wouldn't soothe the area and ease your suffering while your body repaired the damage. That they are very good at. For a grade I skin reaction, a good non-alcohol containing aloe is about as good as anything that costs a hundred times of much, in my opinion. I would rather a patient use aloe, but there are also some lidocaine containing topical medications that are helpful if they insist. Colloidal silver (a very natural medication for the record, despite being sold at the pharmacy) can inhibit the growth of bacteria, although it may not cure an active infection. Infection in general is actually not that common in radiation wounds- but it can happen and should be treated when it does.

Rarely, radiation wounds do need more assertive supportive care. I'm truly very sorry that you had to experience such a situation. Keep in mind, you don't have to clear or remove dead skin from a radiation wound like you might from a thermal burn- at least not aggressively. The problem is missing skin, not damaged skin, or at least that is the more logical way to model the situation.

Missing skin can't be healed with an herb, or a medication, and missing skin sure as heck can't be scrubbed at until it isn't missing anymore. Missing skin, for the most part, needs to wait until the body grows more skin. That can take 2-4 weeks for very mild reactions, to several months for serious radiation injuries.

Halfway Point of Radiation!

This Friday will be the halfway point of my radiation treatments - 17 of 33 scheduled treatments will be completed!  Yippee!  So far, so good with the side effects.  Have not yet felt "radiation fatigue", but they say that plus the skin redness, blisters, etc., usually happen the last couple of weeks.   I'm getting used to the daily drive to Dallas - have had no traffic problems or weather delays!  Usually we get snow or ice in February - but is is forecast to be in the 80's tomorrow!!!  Can you believe it?

I had a "Halfway Point Radiation Celebration" lunch with good friends I've had since high school (some since 1st grade!) at Mia's Mexican restaurant yesterday in Dallas.  They have been a constant source of support & have kept up with my breast cancer journey on a constant basis!  They have certainly been an important factor in me getting through all this!  We had a blast visiting & laughing!  We're planning another one in mid-March when radiation is completed!!!  Then I'll get 6 months off for my radiated skin to recouperate before I go through major reconstruction - newly constructed breast, breast lift & reduction on the other side, & a tummy tuck.  I'm eating healthy to counteract cancer recurrence & to just be fit & healthy!  I should be at my optimum weight when I go through reconstruction - yay!  I have already lost almost 30 pounds just eating healthy & not dieting!

Here's a pic of the girls from yesterday's lunch.  Four out of  the ten of us in the pic have had breast cancer. Always do your self breast exams & get regular mammograms!  All 4 are survivors!  : )

Great 1st Week of Radiation!

I've had 7 radiation treatments & they've all gone well!  I have not encountered traffic on my route from Arlington to Dallas any day!  No side effects - just a little tan!  The valet parkers are so pleasant & accommodating!  (Last week, they parked my car in the lot across the street instead of in one of the few "rad spots" in front of the facility so I could leave my car at UTSW & go with a friend to lunch & the movies.  When I got back to get my car, the valet literally "ran" across the street to get my car so I would not have a long wait.  I immediately went into my purse & doubled his tip!)  The  check-in clerks are full of smiles!  The other rad ladies in the dressing area, aka "holding cell", are full of "have a good day" wishes & smiles.  The rad technicians are kind & efficient!  I have no complaints!  I am 7/33 through with this journey.  What common fraction does that convert to??  I want to have a big celebration party after my last rad on Mar.19!!!!

There are only
5 weeks  1 day   2 hours   20 minutes

until radiation is over!

(As of Feb. 12.  Not that I'm counting!)

"Radiation Agitation"!



Staying Positive!!!!



 Well, I just thought I was starting starting actual "radiation application" on Feb. 1st!  After all, I already had my "radiation consultation" last week!  And everyone said I would be out of there in 15 minutes - NOT!  I had a 10:00 a.m. appointment.  I waited in the downstairs main lobby for 45 minutes before they came & graced me with their presence!  The "radiation technician" finally came & took me up to the 2nd floor "radiation station"!  She explained in her "radiation narration" that they were running way behind & that I would only be getting "radiation simulation" xrays today so they would have a proper "radiation calibration" on their machines!  (Sigh.)  I changed into a hospital gown & waited in the "radiation location" for 15 minutes...enough time to get a lot of "radiation education" from other BC patients concerning their "radiation frustation".  They ALL complained of their burned skin that felt like elephant skin & the breaking down of their skin.  They told me to get aloe vera gel - only the clear, alcohol free.  They talked about how they had to sleep with their arms over their heads & putting cushiony fabric under their arms, etc., because of the pain of the radiated area touching other body parts.  Yikes!  I told them I didn't want to hear any more "radiation complications" because it was giving me "radiation trepidation"!  Luckily, I have great supportive friends that offered their "radiaiton inspiration" positive feedback.  The "radiation exploration" xrays took 30 minutes & after a couple of hours I was finally out of the "radiation location"!  SO, I start actual "radiation application" today, Feb. 2nd, AT 6:00 P.M.!!!!!  The ONLY appt. slot they had for today.  More "radiation frustation"!  Nothing like going & coming in rush hour traffic on I-30!!  Just as bad news was when she gave me my "radiation duration" grueling schedule:

6:00 PM - Feb. 2   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
8:15 AM - Feb. 3   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
7:45 AM - Feb. 6   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
7:45 AM - Feb. 7   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
7:45 AM - Feb. 8   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
8:00 AM - Feb. 9   (yuk - rush hour traffic!)
11:45 AM - Feb. 10 - 17  (Love this time!)
10:45 AM - Feb 20 - Mar. 19   (Love this time!)

The 10:45 AM is the time I requested, it just takes 2 1/2 weeks to get there.  I requested this time so I could get the treatment done by 11:00 - 11:15 so I could then meet friends in Dallas somewhere for lunch.  Girls just wanna' have fun!  That is my motto & the ringtone when one of my friends calls me.

Well, even with my above complaints, I feel GREAT mentally & physically today.  Bought some workout clothes yesterday, as I am joining the Lifestyle Center at my friend's church.  We are working out together & that makes the time go so fast!

I am praying for "radiation toleraton" & will have "radiation jubilation" on March 19th, my "radiation graduation" date!  Then, it's a 6 month wait for the plastic surgeon (to allow "radiation complication" to heal - then it's DIEP reconstruction!

Only my Speech Pathologists will understand my love for play on words because they have it, too!  If all this verbage was too much for the rest of you, I'm sorry for my "radiation fixation"!  (And, I promise during my "radiation duration" I will have "radiation appreciation" because I am thankful I have one of the best cancer facilities (UTSW) only about 40 minutes away, because I have wonderful friends to offer support when I get down, because we are planning some "girl lunches" after rad treatments (we wtill think of ourselves as girls, not old ladies!), because I have great insurance to take my money worries away, because this treatment will help save my life & it is over in 6 1/2 weeks, & because I know my Lord & Savior will get me through it!

Stressful, Painful, & Complicated Port Removal!



I had my appt. for chemo-port removal on January 27th. Ports consist of a tube (catheter), attached to a dome-shaped part. The device is surgically implanted under the skin, with the dome placed in the chest, where it will be easily accessible for injections through a needle. The catheter is threaded into a large vein, where rapid blood flow will dilute the drug, and keep it from damaging the lining of the vein. The whole device will be completely covered by skin. Ports can also be used for drawing blood, thus avoiding needle sticks of the arms during clinic visits.

Dr. Euhus made the first incision on my chest on top of the port & was unable to pull out the tube that went from the port to my jugular vein.  (I also had a complicated port insertion during my mastectomy.  He couldn't go in under the clavicle & had to make a neck incision.)  The removal procedure took twice as long since he had to make another incision in my neck to see what the problem was with the tubing.  It seems my tube was encased in scar tissue which he had to cut away until he could release the port tubing safely.  I came home unnerved & in more pain than I expected.  This made me miss my best friend's daughter's wedding shower luncheon on  Saturday & my granddaughter's dance competition on Friday night & Saturday.  This made me sad!  I had to take a hydrocodone for 2 days, but today I haven't even had ibuprofen.  It is tender, but not painful after 2 days - yay!

Well, at least the port is gone!

On a brighter note, chemotherapy is finished (woohoo!), port is gone, radiation prep work is completed, & radiation starts February 1st & will be over mid-March!  Yippee!



It's all downhill from here!  (I hope!)





Radiation Oncologist & Internist Appointments

Radiation Oncologist (RO):
I had an appointment with Dr. Ann Spangler  (RO) on Thursday, Jan. 26th for my "repeat" radiation consultation (the one I had in Sept. was considered out-of-date!) & luckily, they worked in my radiation simulation!  Before you begin external beam radiation treatment, your radiation therapy team carefully plans your treatment in a process called radiation simulation. Radiation therapy treatment planning usually involves positioning your body (they position an immobilizing body form with your arms over your head so that you don't move during radiation), making marks on your skin (I got 4 freckle sized tattoos to mark the radiation perimeter), and taking imaging CT scans (this helps your radiation oncologist determine the exact spots where treatment will be focused).  Thanks to my sweet friend, Carolyn, for going with me for support!  The best news is that I finally got an appt. to begin radiation treatments.  I start next Wed., Feb. 1st & go 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks!  The RO told me to get a mild bath soap to use during treatment, a deodorant without aluminum (I got Tom's), and aloe gel for any possible burns or blisters from the rads.  The actual time of the radiation appts. will not be established for a couple of days because the first treatments take longer.  Then, I'll get my choice of times - & I'm hoping for an appt. right before lunch so I can have a few radiation lunch dates with friends!  Girls just want to have fun!!!  Looks like I won't finish until about March 16.  My best friend's daughter's wedding is on March 17th, so I hope I'm not too fatigued from the radiation - a usual side effect - but, I will not do the twist this time or any dance that will injure my knee - LOL!



Internist:
I had an appt. with my internist, Dr. Blake Barker at UTSW, after the RO appt. to solve my Sleepless in Arlington problem.  He gave me a Sleep Hygiene printout & prescribed trazodone 50 mg to take at bedtime.  He said to try that dosage for 2 weeks, & if that doesn't work he'd prescribe 100 mgs to try for 2 weeks, & if that doesn't work he'll prescribe 150 mgs.  Well, the first night it did not work. Sad face!  I got about 2 hours sleep - but may have been extremely anxious for my port removal appt. the next morning.  Friday night I took a xanax & a trazodone after getting approval from my pharmacist.  I slept like a baby!  But I am not going to do that anymore because I am going to follow the regimine the internist laid out for me without adding to it so that he can  be the one to adjust the dosage or add another drug.  So, we'll see how this sleeplessness thing evolves in the next few weeks.  I'm sure he wants to start out with the lowest dosage & increase from there if necessary - which is only good medicine.

I want to post my Sleep Hygiene Recommendations instructions in case any of you have sleep problems:

Sleep is important to health & quality of life.  Poor sleep can contribute to poorer blood sugar, poorer blood pressure control, depression, pain & heart health.
1)  No caffeine after 12 NOON.
2)  The bed is only for sleep and sex.  No work, no laptops, no TV, no cell phones, & no reading that is related to work or something else that is either stressful or stimulating.
3)  Alcohol may help you go to sleep, but will  lead to poorer sleep overall.  After the body processes alcohol, it becomes a stimulant & is likely to wake you up or lead to lighter, less refreshing sleep.
4)  Wake up at the same time every day.   Set an alarm if you need to.
5)  Try to go to sleep at the same time every day.  Set an alarm if you need to.
6)  No naps!  Try your best to stay awake during the day & save your sleep for the night.
7)  If you are having trouble falling asleep, get out of bed after 45 minutes of trying.  Leave the bedroom & find a relaxing activity & a caffeine-free warm beverage (hot milk, caffeine-free tea, etc), & return to bed once you feel  relaxed & ready to go to sleep.

As far as #1,  I usually only have caffeine in my morning cup of coffee.  I have given up poisionous Diet Coke & iced tea with meals because of the artificial sweetener factor. For #2, I don't watch TV in bed, etc., but I am guilty of listening to NPR, which I have discontinued.  For #3, I have given up all alcohol on my healthy eating diet to ward off cancer recurrence.  For #4, I am guilty of sleeping until I wake up - sometimes  late in the morning because of not getting to sleep on time.  I thought sleeping late was a perk of retirement, but I guess I need to set my alarm for 7:00 a.m. because I do hate missing watching Good Morning America & The Today Show (I'm a channel flipper) when I sleep late.  For #5, I have always gone to bed at 10:00 p.m., so that shouldn't be a problem.  For #6, I can not take naps any more than I can sleep at night - sleep eludes me!  For #7,  I need to try this pointer.  I usually lie in bed & fight falling asleep which the doc says starts of vicious cycle of not being able to fall asleep.

My hair is NOT this long yet!!!  I just have peach fuzz.  : (





Sleepless in Breast Cancer Land

I used to never have a problem sleeping.  Since when I first began chemotherapy in October I have difficulty getting to sleep and staying asleep - and I usually don't nap.  I have been telling myself it was from the chemo drugs keeping me wired.  But my last chemo was Dec. 13 & I'd think it was out of my system by now - but I still cannot sleep well.  I know you need to get deep REM sleep for the body to rejuvenate.  But, I still watch the hours pass by before I get to sleep, then I seem to wake up several times before morning.  This is getting old! 

My chemotherapy oncologist thought the sleep problem was a result of anxiety & prescribed me Xanax to take at night, but that does not help with the sleeping issue.  I really don't think I am anxious.  I have had good pathology reports & have a deep faith, so I am not worried about the big "C".  I finally called my internist from UTSW & have an appointment with him next week to discuss this.  I am hesitant to go on prescription "sleeping pills", but I think that is lesser than the evil of not getting rejuvenative sleep.  My body needs rejuvenative sleep while I'm undergoing breast cancer treatment.  I start radiation the first of February & they say that causes fatigue - so I need to be able to sleep to recover from that side effect.

I have tried all the "home remedies" - reading, watching tv & over-the-counter sleep aids which leave me feeling groggy in the morning.  So, I'm anxious to see my internist next week to see what solution he has to offer.